Discontinued: Asian Meals Malaysian Lemongrass Noodle

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Welcome to another episode of Discontinued, where I buy, consume, and then review meals that you can’t have because they aren’t being sold anymore. On today’s plate, or should I say bowl, we have Lemongrass Noodle soup from Asian Meals. I’ll be honest, I have never heard of the Asian Meals brand before, and my local Wegmans is pretty good at stocking instant noodle bowls. With their entire wall of bowls from all over Asia, Wegmans carries a whole two soups from Asian Meals, of which my store stocked just one. Well, not anymore, but you get the point.

Asian Meals describes itself as:

Dr Premium rice noodle soup brings you the fresh, authentic, and wholesome flavors of Asia. Blending the finest herbs and spices of Asia perfectly with traditional seasonings to give you a delicious meal in minutes… served in a reusable and microwavable bowl from Asia.

Look, guy, you don’t have to tell me your bowl is reusable. I’m not poor, I just like instant noodles. I’m going to reuse this bowl once, maybe five times, ten max before I throw it away. I’m not cheap, I’m just incredibly lazy, and I don’t need no one dollar “I can’t sell so I’m discontinued” noodle bowl giving me advice on how to live my life.

And for those of you talking about how disgusting I am, the jokes on you. This bowl isn’t just good for cereal, the rice milk picks up the leftover spices from the night before and not only cleans the bowl but gives Captain Crunch quite a flavorful kick. Hear that? It’s the sound of being wrong twice. Don’t worry, you get used to it when you judge others.

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One thing I love about the international noodle section at Wegmans is that the choices allow me to feel like I’m eating junk food, but all the while I’m eating actually healthy stuff. Sure the sodium count on instant noodles is high, but consider that these products use 100% all natural ingredients, often times certified vegetarian, halal, and non-GMO. They usually have some sort of fish product, loaded with Omega-3 and 6 fatty acids, and the rice noodles are a whole lot healthier for you than wheat. There’s most often low to no saturated fat, no cholesterol, and a fair amount of protein, vitamins, and minerals. Something something, poop, I missed my joke quota for that paragraph.

You can cook the lemongrass noodle bowl one of two ways, in the microwave or with good old fashioned boiling water. I find it a bit presumptuous of Asian Meals to assume that anyone who doesn’t microwave the bowl must not have a microwave. The instructions literally divide the two into “microwave cooking” and “no microwave oven?” Sorry, Asian Meals, some of us don’t have access to a microwave oven and, once again, it isn’t because we’re poor. For crying out loud, you start one measly fire drying your socks off in the microwave and all of a sudden the court bans you from owning a microwave because it’s your “third offense,” and no one lets you hear the end of it.

The ingredients are so easy to read, a four year old would understand them, so I immediately sent off for a four year old to decipher this box. Water, galangal, onion, lemongrass, anchovy, salt, sugar, chili, palm oil, tamarind, salt, tomato paste, cilantro, yeast extract, modified corn starch, citric acid, rice, carrots, cabbage, spring onions. A simple list, and a thank you to Mary Sue from Cincinnati Ohio for explaining to me what cilantro is.

She didn’t know what galangal is, and why should she? I found out later that she lied about her age on her resume, she was actually three and this many months (just imagine I’m holding up nine fingers). You can’t round up, kid, that’s cheating, and I’m telling mom. Galangal is a type of ginger. Tamarind is a pod-like fruit used in culinary dishes and metal cleaners. As part of a followup, I will be taste testing multiple Tamarind cleaning solutions. This is planned for Shameless Consumer’s series finale.

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As for the taste, this bowl is…interesting. You can definitely taste the citrus of the lemongrass, which melds well with the tangy and fishy flavor of the anchovy fish sauce. The chili and the tomato paste kick in the afterburners and add a saucy, spicy kick to the whole experience. The lemongrass is the strangest aspect of this dish. The flavor is there, but it isn’t, you know you can taste it but you can’t pinpoint where it is coming from.

It doesn’t have a physical location, it just exists as an entity in your mouth, reminding your taste buds of the existence of their lemony god. The same goes for the anchovy, which has a more powerful aroma than it does flavor. All of this comes together to form a concoction that is a little bit bitter, a little bit saucy, a little bit spicy, and a little bit fishy.

I’d buy this again, were it not discontinued. Like previous Discontinued items, the Lemongrass Noodle Bowl was likely passed over for its cost: $2.72 at full price, $1.36 on discontinued sale.

  • Calories – 300
  • Fat – 2g
  • Saturated Fat – 0g
  • Trans fat – 0g
  • Cholesterol – 0g
  • Sodium – 850mg
  • Carbohydrate – 60g
  • Dietary Fiber – 3g
  • Sugars – 4g
  • Protein – 10g
  • Vitamin A – 4%
  • Calcium – 2%
  • Vitamin C – 6%
  • Iron – 2%
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