Tennessee: Water Quality Complaints Are Acts of Terror

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Pictured: Sherwin Smith

The Shameless Consumer has heard numerous complaints from Maury County citizens regarding the quality of their water supply, and he has to ask himself: What are these people, terrorists? America is number one in everything, including water quality, and anything claims to the contrary are probably from secret Al Qaeda cells. Luckily the Shameless Consumer is not alone in his beliefs, and Tennessee Deputy Director of TDEC’s Division of Water Resources agrees, calling complaints by parents that their children have become ill from the drinking water an act of terrorism.

“We take water quality very seriously. Very, very seriously,” said Sherwin Smith, deputy director of TDEC’s Division of Water Resources, according to audio recorded by attendees. “But you need to make sure that when you make water quality complaints you have a basis, because federally, if there’s no water quality issues, that can be considered under Homeland Security an act of terrorism.”

Critics have called this an attempt to silence the people. Shameless Consumer attempted to contact Sherwin Smith for comment, however we were told that he is currently busy dueling banjos.

Source: USA Today

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